Off to the dance...

[Continuation of Samba, anyone?]

I stealthily sneak out of my wonderfully kitschy, South Quirksville bungalow and head due north to Erin's place. While rounding the bend to merge on to the highway, my foot slips off the brake pedal and I nearly wind up ass-kissing the Mercedes in front of me. Hmm... Number 276 on the list of "What's different while you're a girl." Driving a car in heels, especially stilettos...

I always used to wonder why I seemed to notice that some women drivers would sometimes accelerate too fast or not brake as gracefully as others on the road and I'm now convinced on what that cause is. It's the heels. Put me in flats and I can drive like Mario Andretti. Put me in a 3" stiletto and I suddenly become Public Driving Menace #1. God help us if there's a clutch...

I pull into Erin's place and leave the GwnnMobile for the night. Luckily for society at large, Erin has volunteered to drive which will keep a probably tipsy Gwnn off the road for the night. Stepping into Erin's tastefully appointed home, I get the "Critical Eye" and I expect a bit of constructive criticism on what I could do to improve.

"You did quite well tonight, I'm surprised," Erin says with subtle laugh in her voice and prize-winning smile. "But I want you to try on this skirt. It'll be perfect for tonight and will go very well with what you're wearing."

Erin then brings out a black suede mini with a bit of a tulip hem on it. Now before you get all concerned about wearing a suede mini and how awful that might look, being 5'9" and 145lbs and usually fitting into a size 4 in most designers, I can pretty much wear any of the latest styles. Comparing to some famous celebrities bodies, I would say that Gwnn's is a close match to Jennifer Garner (Gwnn's namesake and inspiration ;) who has a lean, athletic build and at times, and can look a bit boyish as well. So while it was a true curse growing up, I'm now thankful that all those years of lifting weights and playing soccer didn't add bulky inches to Gwnn's body. And I'm sure the general public is probably thankful now as well.

So I slide into the suede mini which Erin got for a spectacular price (XOXO suede mini for $10, marked down from $110. Where does she find these bargains?) and while being a bit big in the waist (which most skirts are on a "boy-shaped" girl), the fit below the waist was perfect. The sheer top with the hot little suede skirt, sheer black hose and stiletto heels screamed "Salsa, Baby!" It's just too bad that Gwnn can't dance... ;)

We jump into the ErinMobile and head due south for Central Quirksville where the big event is to be held, all the while Gwnn's doing her best to not let this event tie up her already knotted stomach. I'll still never get comfortable going out in public even though I've been doing it for almost 2 years now. Even though I've never had *any* problems other than a double-take or two, it just never gets easier. And unfortunately for Erin, she gets to deal with my paranoia...

"What if we can't get tickets? I mean, I don't want to walk all the way there with *people* around staring and pointing, you know. And what if I'm, like, the only grrl that shows up? Well, that shouldn't be a problem. There'll be some outrageous people there. They won't be looking..."

"Gwnn, did you not have a drink before you left?" knowing that it really makes Gwnn more tolerable early on if she's had a shot of alcohol to calm those fragile nerves.

"Umm, no... I forgot... Guess I should've made it a priority."

Before we can get into the dance, I need to get some cash to pay for it ($30 a ticket + alcohol once you get in) so we needed to find an ATM. We stop in at an ATM just down the street from the arena and Erin lets Gwnn get out (the ATM was on the driver's side). I look around and see that there are a few guys walking towards Threadgill's and jump out of the car. Adjusting my skirt while walking to the ATM, I feel like I'm about to go onstage as the light coming from Erin's car reminds me of footlights on a stage. Well, I guess that's appropriate as really, at time, it feels just like acting...

I get back in and Erin informs me that the guys walking down the street were "Checkin' me out." One thing I will forever be grateful about going out dressed like a girl is the understanding I now have about how truly lecherous guys generally are. On the one hand, yes, I'm wearing a suede mini with stilettos, so a fair amount of gawking has been asked for by me. But being a fairly attractive female, I do get "checked out" quite a bit. And those looks are different from the typical, everyday looks. Most of the time, it does make you feel a bit uncomfortable. Thankfully, I only do this part time but I can't imagine what it would be like 24/7, like it is for all women. I'll say it now, you all have my deepest sympathy...

Samba, anyone?

"Well, you could make a lot of money in Brazil," the slightly disheveled Brazilian party drunk quips. And with that, my night at Carnaval ends; an interesting comment that I'll remember the rest of my life.

This night was probably the most "important" night of Gwnn's short self-confidence building career. It started out like so many of the others, though. What to wear? A solid 2 1/2 hours of selecting, trying on and throwing into a will-put-them-back-up-on-hangers-later pile at the foot of the bed. After finally selecting a denim micromini with cranberry scarf as a belt and a sheer multicolor top (predominantly different shades of green; about as much Brazilian as the local New York & Company) with pointy stilettos, I give Erin a ring on the phone to let her know I'm on my way. Erin asks what I'm wearing and I go through a quick summary of the last 2 hours...

"Well, I started with a longer skirt than thought, well, a lot of people there won't be wearing much anyway. After all, we shouldn't be sticking out that much tonight... So I...."

"Ok, stop telling me what led up to your decision and tell me what you are going to wear..."

So I give the quick summary above.

"That's perfect. I happened to pick up a skirt that I think will fit you and will be perfect for tonight. So let's get moving..."